It’s NEVER too late
to say, "I Love you."
Around the time of my mother's "death", my 18 years with her felt a bit too hurtful and unloving. I felt that there were important things we were supposed to do together - things that she'd given up on or forgotten. I felt abandoned by her.
My mother was my only family member who supported and understood my depths and my drive to write out what was in my heart...etc. I think we could have done a lot to help each other if she'd not given up on her own life and died of leukemia.
Through many years it had bothered me that we never said, "I love you" to each other. We never fully expressed or showed the love we felt for each other. This left me with an aching emptiness inside my Heart. But I later learned that the death of a human body is not the end of a person's life and certainly not the end of a Soul's ability to heal into deeper levels of Love.
When I was in my late twenties, I started meditating and learning how to vision quest, Native American style. Visioning felt natural to me and my visions brought me to higher levels of awareness, to a world that exists beyond our physical world. In this other world, I frequented a place where Angels were sending beams of healing white Light down to the Earth, in an effort to heal the world. (These Angels looked like glowing figures of pure white Light.)
During one of my journeys, as I stood watching, one of them came to stand directly in front of me, handed me a large glowing gem and asked me to place it into my Heart. As I did, a wonderfully warm feeling slowly spread through my whole body. When I looked up to thank the being who'd handed it to me, I was shocked to see my mother standing there!!!
Tears quickly welled up and streamed down my cheeks as my legs went weak. "I LOVE you," she whispered, as she pulled me into her arms and held me tight. Between my sobs I said, "I love you too" and then cried like a baby. . .cuddling into her love, until I woke from the vision.
I opened my eyes to tears that still heavily flowed. This experience was so incredibly real. Deep in my Heart I KNOW and FEEL that I Truly met my mother's Spirit there, that she really came to say, "I LOVE YOU" and that I felt her Love to the core of my Heart and Soul, with every fiber of my being. There is nothing anyone can possibly say to convince me otherwise. This WAS real. It was as real as these letters on this page.
Through this experience, I felt like I’d resolved most of the issues I'd had with my mother. Its felt as if, in those minutes of opening my Heart to the depths of her Love and deeply crying out my sadness, I'd received what had been lacking throughout my 18 years in this life with her.
I no longer yearn for her to be here for me, in the same ways I used to, because her Love remains
with me. I still feel it in my heart. And I find deep levels of comfort in realizing that,
It’s NEVER too late to say, "I Love you."